I see a beautiful little girl. Happy, cheerful, funny… I can see dreams in her eyes. She searches and runs after anything or anyone who puts a smile on her face. She runs and laughs out loud as she spins around. I freeze my eyes on such perfect image of innocence. The sun emphasizes the beauty of that moment, of that place. The smell of flowers, of rain, of earth… hold on… I close my eyes and see the nature connecting with the people in pure delight. I can almost touch the love as the air is getting filled a perfect moment that I know will last forever.
I think childhood is the one phase of my life I miss the most. Who agrees with me? I often go back to those memories to remember who I once was, and what is like to have the heart and soul of a child. It is always intriging to think of what made me into who I am today, of what really matters in life, and what I would like to pass on to my child (the same way or not). And let’s emphasize that after you become a mom, the last one seems to matter the most.
As adults things and paths change and sometimes the harshness of life slowly takes away those memories, together with hope for today or tomorrow. We no longer smile the same way, we no longer allow ourself to laugh at the same things. Acting that way we begin to hide. Hide from the world, hide from the memory of that child we once used to be, and hide from the person we have become. Worries over the past and the future start to blur (yes, don’t you feel in the middle of a bad foggy day? ) our present.
I have been there. As a divorced/single mother I had to go through this struggle, and I believe most single moms out there have felt or are feeling the same right now, right? But let me tell you something. Moments like this come and go, yes believe me, they go. People kept telling me “ don’t worry it will pass!” and when in my desbelief I thought it was taking too long… there, it sure passed! And life became so much beautiful after that. The child in me was alive! My dreams, my hope, my happiness, all came from inside ready to aflorish again. And guess what? I was stronger, I was greatful, I was a much better version of me. Out of the darkness I could realize that I had received the most wonderful gift, my beautiful daughter! God saved me and showed me in such a clear way that He was with me the whole time, and that I deserved (and so do you) to have such angel in my arms… yes, she was here and she was mine.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope”
Whatever has brought tears to your eyes and pain to your soul can be just an experience that will mark the beginning of a great major change in your life. That will depend on how you react to it. Do you want to know a secret? Let it go.
Every single person on earth will some day face a difficult time in life, something that wasn’t on the plans, and definitely not on the dreams of that beautiful, innocent and happy girl. No matter what that is for you, life is here and is now. This could be a great opportunity for you to shake things off , move things around, and try something new. I believe that everything happens for a reason. So face the problem, the pain, be patient, but… be alive! Sing, dance, laugh, go back to those memories, remember who you once were, remind yourself what matters the most, look at those two beautiful little eyes starring at you and see the light at the end of the tunel… believe me mom, you will see that life is so worth fighting for!